The plates in my hands suddenly felt unbearably heavy.
Richard continued.
“Careful, guys. Don’t make her laugh too much or we’ll have to protect the couch!”
My face burned.
“Richard, please put that away.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Oh, relax, Bel. It’s a joke. If you’re embarrassed, maybe you should’ve fixed the problem by now.”
Someone whistled.
Another man slapped the couch.
I remained frozen in my own living room.
Richard kept going.
Mattress covers.
The grocery-store aisle.
More jokes I could barely hear because humiliation had transformed everything around me into noise.
I thought about Mandy, Randy, and Tobby sleeping upstairs.
I thought about everything my body had endured to bring them into the world.
I thought about the months I had spent recovering while taking care of three infants.
Then I noticed David.
He wasn’t laughing.
Not even slightly.
He sat near the window, beer halfway to his mouth, staring at the package in Richard’s hand.
Then his eyes shifted toward me.
Something changed in his expression.
Not pity.
Something heavier.
“Rich,” David said quietly.
Richard continued talking.
“Richard.”
This time, David’s voice was louder.
The room shifted.
A few men looked over at him.
Richard laughed.
“What? Don’t tell me you’re about to lecture me. It’s a joke. She’s fine. Right, honey?”
He looked directly at me.
That was what he always did.
He expected me to smile.
