Every time one scar healed, another operation seemed to begin.
Doctors did everything they could.
They saved my life.
But they couldn't erase what happened.
Eventually I stopped asking if I'd ever look like I used to.
I already knew the answer.
Starting School Again
Going back to school was harder than any surgery.
The first day, the classroom went completely silent when I walked in.
Some students looked frightened.
Others looked curious.
One girl cried.
A boy asked loudly if I had been attacked by a monster.
Kids can be unintentionally cruel.
Middle school became even worse.
Teenagers aren't always intentionally cruel.
Sometimes they simply fear anyone who looks different.
I stopped raising my hand in class.
Stopped volunteering.
Stopped looking people in the eyes.
It felt safer that way.
Mirrors
People often think scars hurt because they're painful.
They're wrong.
The hardest part is watching yourself hesitate before every mirror.
Wondering whether today someone will notice.
Wondering whether you'll be photographed.
Wondering whether you'll become someone's joke.
Eventually I mastered the art of pretending not to care.
